5 Ways to Keep Romance Alive in Your Marriage

Romance is a key factor in keeping a marriage alive and healthy. If romance is missing or unsatisfying, then you and your spouse may find yourselves drifting away from each other. You have to keep the fire burning by rebuilding romance in your marriage. Romance probably came easy during the early years of your relationship, however, as couples settle into a marriage relationship, romance can diminish and each spouse can find himself/herself with unmet needs and desires. Rebuilding romance takes some dedication and hard work, but with a few key factors in play, it will get easier and you can begin to rebuild romance quickly.

Here are five (5) things to keep in mind that will help you start rebuilding romance today.

Remember the Difference between Romance and Sexual Intimacy

Many couples mistake physical intimacy for romance, but it’s important to remember that there is a difference between the two. It can be said that physical intimacy is an integral component of romance, but there’s more to romance than merely being physically intimate. Think of physical intimacy as the icing on the cake of a romantic relationship. In rebuilding romance, it may be important to even take the expectation for physical intimacy out of the equation by focusing only on things which your partner considers romantic. Let physical intimacy be a natural side effect of romance and you will find that the entire experience will be more relaxed and pleasurable.

Devote Time and Attention to Create Romantic Moments

You must know your mate if you are to be successful at rebuilding romance. People change and what was romantic during the early years of a relationship might not be romantic ten years later. Men and women should become a lifelong student of their spouse and learn what types of things each finds romantic. Awareness is a key to knowledge and communication is a key to sharing your awareness and knowledge with your mate. Make sure that you are communicating your romantic needs effectively as well as listening to the verbal and body language queues of your spouse to dome to a better understanding of what things each finds romantic. When you are attune to each other’s desires for romance, and you devote the time necessary to bring those desires to fruition you will be giving the necessary attention to recreating romantic moments.

Engage in Passionate Sex

As earlier mentioned, sex is an important component of romantic marriages. Once you are able to be more romantic with your spouse, it will be fun to add physical intimacy into the equation. We typically see that as romance increases between each other, so will passionate physical intimacy increase.  Physical intimacy is a natural outgrowth of romance because romance tells your mate that you are serious about, committed to and vested in the relationship. As your mate feels more cared for and important, sex will become more passionate which will strengthen the bond between you.

Strengthen Your Trust for Each Other

Building romance in a relationship also naturally strengthens trust between you. I tell all the couples that I counsel that trust is a two way street. One must be trustworthy and behave in trusting ways, but the other must also be willing to step out in faith and show trust. As trust in each other increases, so will romantic feelings which will inspire romantic behaviors. Trust is strengthened when we go out of our way to make sure that our spouse feels import and a priority. It’s important that you are honest with each other and communicate in a way that is loving and kind. We don’t have to reveal our deepest darkest secrets, but it is important to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and open when it comes to our spouse. We need to be willing to trustworthy as well as willing to trust.

Celebrate Romance

The next four ways of rekindling romance in your marriage revolve around learning how to celebrate romance like the following:

  • Break the routine and create an extraordinary moment you and your spouse can take pleasure in and create memories with. Find common interests and find a way to be interested in what the other person is interested in.
  • Keep the line of communication open and clear.
  • Maintain the respect and give each other room to enjoy one’s individual privacy.
  • Say it with words and follow it up with actions. Never hesitate to verbalize how much you love each other and the positives that you notice and are aware of. You should also make it a point to show what you say in action.

I hope that these 5 tips to rebuilding romance will help you in your relationship. Try not to miss an opportunity to rekindle romance in your marriage. This will help strengthen the bond between you and increase the chances that you will be together for a lifetime.


headshot01Brandon is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor specializing in marriage therapy and sex therapy. He does counseling from a Christian world view and is located in Chattanooga Tennessee. You can find out more about Brandon through his listing in the directory.

Updated: November 8, 2013 — 2:32 am